Hot Tokyo Ass

It is getting a bit hot in Tokyo lately, and everyone has their nose a bit out of joint because there isn’t enough power for air conditioning. Subsequently, there are PLENTY of hot asses around town. Despite the steamy weather, power outages, office sauna, and all the rest of it, I have found that it’s still possible to use the weather to your advantage if you like annoying people as much as I do.

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On the weekend for example, there I was, minding my own business sitting in the stone forecourt of a downtown office building eating an ice cream in the hot sun. I should also mention that despite the heat, I was wearing a very nice suit and tie.

I had probably only been there for 5 minutes when a grubby little security guard came over to shoo me away. I guess a lot of dreadful hobos probably try and sleep there because he was very angry.

Now, like most people who detest authority, security guards absolutely disgust me, and I always show as much disdain as possible when I can.
Having been told I needed to move along, I stood up and was preparing to leave when I noticed an amusing combination of temperature, humidity, and the fine Italian tailoring of my pants had left behind a perfect sweat indentation of my backside on the stone ledge where I had been sitting. It was a very light, dry shade of stone so it really stood out.

I don’t know how it happened, but it was amazingly detailed, in as much so that you could clearly make out where my ball sack had been resting on the stone.

The security guard noticed it immediately, and was none too pleased with my contribution. ‘Horrified’, ‘confused’, and/or ‘physically shocked’ could also be used to describe his reaction. I think this was because having been inside the building’s air conditioned lobby, he wasn’t aware of how hot and sweaty a morning it was, and probably just figured that I had pissed himself.

It was also kind of funny because whilst we were standing their looking at it, we both audibly gasped at different points. Mine was when I noticed my testicle imprint. His was probably caused by the same realization.

Although I hadn’t pissed myself, I can sort of understand his viewpoint. If for example a child, or a hobo pisses themselves, it’s not such an odd event. But if a wealthy looking, foreign businessman turns up at your building and appears to have pissed himself…. it’s probably a shock to the system. I for one would also be confused if that happened at my office.



In any case, we both stood their looking at for about 10 seconds before I eventually walked off without any of us saying anything.