A successful young transport company executive I know recently phoned me after we met at a dreadfully tedious gallery opening late last year. Despite his youth, he is already a partner at his firm and had the use of a luxury stretched Hummer van that his company normally uses to entertain corporate clients. 
While I have never been inside the vehicle myself, it is by all accounts the last word in luxury, with a plush fit out, fully stocked bar, plasma screen satellite TV, and all that type of thing. During the call he told me he managed to talk a young lady from the gallery back to take a closer look…
He is quite a charming young man, and once things took their natural course, and they had been in the throws of passion for some time, she apparently started to scream out “What are you waiting for! WHIP ME!!!”
Not having a whip on hand, but not wanting to miss out on such a unique chance, being a clever young lad he quickly opened the van’s sunroof and snapped off its GPS aerial, before using it to whip her into an absolute frenzy.
Eventually after some time they both collapsed in sadomasochistic ecstasy.
It wasn’t until around a week later that he found out the aerial marks started to fester and she had to have them examined by her doctor. Apparently the doctor took one look at the wounds and said, "Did you get these marks having sex?"
The girl was obviously a touch embarrassed but admitted that, yes, she did. Nodding his head knowingly the doctor exclaims, "I thought so, you may well have the worst case of van aerial disease that I've ever seen."
