Regional Affairs Report

Guest Blog Filed by: IoGT Regional Affairs Correspondent, Aiden Roberts
With all that has been happening around these parts I guess you could say that I have been spoilt for choice in the lead up to this month’s Regional Affairs Report. I have managed to whittle it down to a tale about two of my very good friends Cletus and Walter, and a bovine they recently happened across. Strap yourself in for quite a ride.

The tale begins when the two gents recently saw an ad in the newspaper and bought a cow for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the cow the next day.

The next morning the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry, fellows, I have some bad news, the cow died last night."

Cletus and Walter replied, "Well, then just give us our money back."
The farmer said, "Can't do that. I went and spent it already." They said, "OK then, just bring us the dead cow." The farmer asked, "What in the world ya'll gonna do with a dead cow?" said, "We gonna raffle him off."

The farmer said, "You can't raffle off a dead cow!" Walter said, "We shore can! Heck, we don't hafta tell nobody he's dead!"
A couple of weeks later, the farmer ran into Cletus and Walter at the grocery store and asked "What'd you fellers ever do with that dead cow?" They said, "We raffled him off like we said we wuz gonna do. Shucks, we sold 500 tickets fer two dollars apiece and made a profit of $898."

The farmer said, "My Lord! Didn't anyone complain?" Curtis said, "Well, the feller who won got upset. So we gave him his two dollars back."

Cletus and Walter now work for the US Government. They're overseeing the Bailout Program.