Adorable Hemorrhoid Aids

Filed by: The Author of tIoGT

The first rule of capitalism is finding out what consumers want, and then giving it to them in bigger and bigger doses। Disney does it। The Wiggles do it। And so does Japan’s own Doraemon, the cat like robot from the 22nd century.

With the obvious exception of Sanrio’s recession proof Hello Kitty franchise, perhaps no character in human history comes close to mastering Doraemon’s ability to shamelessly exploit his loyal fan base for financial gain.

Doraemon dolls

 Doraemon toilet paper

 Doraemon solar powered cars

Doraemon has licensed his name to more ideas than you can poke a stick at. Well, probably as many anyway. Surely no one is counting anymore.

And just when seasoned observers of Japanese popular culture like myself suspected that Doraemon might struggle with future product licensing ideas, the adorable little chap has once again outdone himself. This time, inking a new deal to license his name and image to hemorrhoid cushions.

I can only assume you place the effected area in the hole where his mouth is. Either that or he looks like Doraemon has forgotten his false teeth.

The last word in adorable anal relief। Your backdoor wind chimes will thank you.

Suffice to say, these cushions weren’t exactly flying off the shelf. And although they may cause many already cynical consumers to become even more…well, cynical…I think there may actually be cause for optimism here.

Now that all the obvious products have been done to death, and we are already moving into character licensing of medical anus aids, other bad ideas can’t be far away. Perhaps a Hello Kitty butt plug, or a Miffy rectal thermometers may soon appear on store shelves. I hope so, they would be more adorable than standard butt plugs and rectal thermometers.