Economic Transition

Guest Blog Filed by: tIoGT Chairman Alistair Cooper
As tIoGT readers will know only too well, the deteriorating condition of our national economy is having a significant impact on every aspect of our society. And although we at the Institute of Good Taste are well placed to weather this storm, we must remember that things may get worse before they get any better.

Despite the financial strength of our balance sheet, if I was to be completely honest with you I would have to admit that our forward financial estimates resemble something that just fell out of a sick dogs bum hole.

As a collective institution we must tighten our belts.

Rather than dollars and cents though, myself and the other the individuals with whom this Institution’s future ultimately lays recognizes that our strongest asset is our employees. As such, we are keen to reaffirm our commitment to ensuring any and all future retrenchment initiatives are implemented with as little disruption as possible to remaining colleagues.

This institution makes no secret that retrenchments have to date been observed at all levels of our hierarchy. Only recently for instance, I myself was faced with a very difficult selection I knew would have a great bearing on the future direction of our institute.

After careful consideration, I had narrowed my choice down to two of my own personal staff: Mary and Jack. The decision was extraordinarily difficult as they were both equally senior, equally qualified, and both always turned in fine work. Eventually I decided that that whoever used the water cooler first would by asked to leave.

The next day Mary came in and was very hung-over after a long client dinner. Apparently she had been throwing the drinks back pretty hard the previous night. I watched as she went over to the water fountain to get some water to wash down some aspirin.

As I approached her I said, "Mary, this is the first time I have ever had to do anything like this, but I have to lay you or Jack off." Mary replied, "Then you'll have to jack off. I have a hell of a headache."

I’m still not entirely sure what she actually meant.