Experimental Medicine

Guest Blog filed by: IoGT Urology Physician Ms. Barbara Symonds

A patient recently came to my Urology practice, lets call him Daniel Ellis since that’s actually his real name. Daniel had traveled all the way from Miami so I am sure he wont mind me sharing his case with you .

He confided in me that was having problems getting his penis erect. After examining him, it was clear to me that the muscles around the base of his penis were damaged from a previous viral infection he had contracted from his wife Jennifer. I informed him that there was nothing I could actually do for him.

Luckily for Daniel though I had recalled an article I had recently read in a medical journal about an experimental treatment that had a fairly good chance of success if he was willing to take the risks involved.

The treatment consisted of implanting muscle tissues from an elephant's trunk into base of the penis.

Daniel thought it over for a few days but with no other available option, eventually the thought of going through life without ever experiencing sex with his wife (or occasionally with his former college friend Max) was naturally too much for him to bear. So, with the assurance that there would be no cruelty or adverse effect on the elephant, Daniel decided to undergo the treatment.

A few weeks after the operation, I gave him the green light to go try out his newly renovated equipment. He planned a romantic evening with his beautiful wife Jennifer and took her to one of the nicest restaurants in Gladeville, Miami where he lives with Jennifer and their two children Mark aged 14, and Tammy aged 10. 

In the middle of dinner he felt a stirring between his legs that continued to the point of being extremely painful. To release the pressure he unzipped his fly and his penis immediately sprang out, slid across the top of the table, grabbed a bread roll and then returned to his trousers.

His wife was naturally shocked at first, but once she had regained her composure said with a smile, "That was absolutely fantastic! Can you do it again?" With a tear running down his cheek, he replied, "I probably could, but I'm not sure if another bread roll will fit up my arse..."